TBH

TBH: To be honest

A silly Facebook acronym. The meaning behind it sincere. To be honest. I pledge to do that for myself. I pledge to be honest to others.

I am starting this TBH effort to rid myself of guilt. Being honest will lead me to the place of comfort and hope I crave.

I'll start simply today: 

I am funny.

I am smart.

I get lazy.

I enjoy being in the presence of people but I enjoy solitude immensely.

I believe I am attractive.

I want to develop a better self understanding.

The idea of family, marriage and relationships perplexes me.

I often wonder how to both fit in and stand out.

I wish I knew more about my Puerto Rican heritage.

I crave African American culture.

I have less than five friends.

I read.

I love movies.

I like to be organized but---it lasts only a little while.

If there was one thing I wish I could do better is let things go---physical, emotion, mental.

I like fashion but have no desire to be caught up in material possessions which is also known as being cheap.

I am upset at the "church" but my love and trust in God is daily on the rise.

I am embracing my youth and love for life and am ready not only to reach my potential but to influence others to do the same.

Verse of the day/week/for awhile: 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Always be joyful. Always keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ.

Thief

thief
He stole it.
My heart.
Ripping it from the veins
that were loving another.
There it lies.
In a cooler for him.
For his icebox.
Won't he take it and keep it?

Let it warm him
Protect him
Please him.
Won't he love me?
From what I can see
He and Me will never be.
Be alone
In a room.
I make him stand
He makes me hot
We go through this routine a lot.

Wrong Way

wrong way

Tried other flavors
this much is clear
time with you is limited
so i must savor
our moments of passion
bottled inside is this urgent
desire of ensuring your satisfaction
I come to you an open book
waiting and waiting
to be the one you want
Missing the signs you've written
My smile gives proof of my heart
you know is smitten
Do you think of me like I you?
Asking god for signs to disprove what I know is true.
It hurts. We feel so good.
I mistakenly assumed you knew you had an all access pass to my world
my heart my happiness
Tired of the tears trying to run from my deepest fear
"He's just not that into you"
But you have been in me.
Clouding the view so I can see
Maybe some sleep and a call will ease my sore
heartless i tried not care but no one else can compare
your flavor
give u half
have to have one just in case. earrings, condoms, notes proof
why suck and savor
a sample of the signs im going the wrong way.